It is time to seize the moment. Hold a little longer. Hug a little tighter. Squeeze a little harder. I will not let go, I do not except the ephemeral nature of this moment, I am going to stay here forever. It is the final countdown, I whisper to myself. You are close, as we lay together on early mornings, silently, loudly, tenderly. you pull me to you and I am reminded that your body won’t be mine forever. But I also realize that your body is not what I want. You lay your head on my chest. “I can hear your heartbeat”. You look up, as your blue eyes catch the early sun and pierce me. I see you. I want you. Your heart, your soul, your smile, you likes, your dislikes, your flaws, I want all of you. My heart skips, and you notice. I feel it pounding inside me, trying to leap out of my chest. My skin is warm as you kiss the goosebumps on my arms and shoulders. I’m on fire for you. Just don’t let this moment end today. Let me lay here forever.
In moments of self reflection and growth, I see potential in vulnerability. As I look around myself, I see wounds no longer festering, but wounds not yet fully healed. How must I grow when I am still hurting? I do not live at the expense of my abuser, but I am open. I am selective. I have become a Sherlock Holmes of sorts, studying those who step within my circle of protection; the glass case around my heart. No longer do I push those out of my safe space, my hiding place. No longer do I shut them out. In the valley of my heart, the battelfield in which I have been defeated and I have conquered, I lay here now. There is no fight to be had, I cannot find the strength. I am taken by you. You tap your finger against the glass and it shatters without a struggle. I am weak under your touch. I am nervous, as you gently undress my personality, reveal my secrets, and behold my naked soul. But I trust you. We look at each other nervously, too scared to stare too long but unable to look away. You are my undoing, as I stand naked before you, I surrender to your touch.